Bumpy Ride

I need to give some background here, for those who don't read my Facebook status posts.

My son is 26 years old. His only exercise is walking the grounds where he works security. He weighs over 300 lbs, and several weeks ago had an accident at work that required treatment. It was discovered then that he had life-threateningly high blood pressure. He was prescribed medication and told he would have to get treated by a regular doctor to continue the medicine, but since he has no insurance, he wanted to try food supplements to keep his blood pressure down. We picked up what his friend had recommended, and I split the cost with him (he does have to pay for some of what he uses around here). Even though it was in the house, he admitted he wasn't using it as directed.

One week ago today, my husband and I went to do some shopping together, after my son complained of not feeling well in the morning. He made it sound like it was nothing serious, just a bit of stomach discomfort he was having. We got quite a bit done while we were out. When we came home, my son revealed he was feeling a heaviness in his chest, and that it occasionally traveled up into his throat. My husband's family has dealt with heart disease on his father's side, so we knew these were symptoms of a heart attack. I offered to take him to the hospital, but he said that he didn't think it was necessary. My husband told him he was going, like it or not.

Since my husband had to leave for work, I was obviously going to be the "ambulance driver." I took him down, and as soon as they heard the words "chest pain," the staff got my son prepped for an EKG. After that, he was then placed in a bed in the ER. I was with him the entire 5 hours. As it turns out, it was not his heart, but his pressure had again become too high because he had done nothing for it in 5 days. The doctor prescribed the medication he had been given originally, and strongly urged him to follow up with a clinic. He also made other recommendations, which my son has taken to heart.

The next day, Sunday, I really wanted to go to church, as health issues had kept us home the prior two weeks. Fatigued from the previous day's events, we attended services and went straight home. I sat like a lump on the sofa, then laid down there and tried to stay awake long enough to say goodbye to my husband when he left for work, which I was barely able to do. The last thing I remembered was the dog licking my bare toes and laying down in front of the couch. I did not wake up again until almost 4pm. The rest of the evening I couldn't seem to do anything, and felt like crying until I went to bed for the night.

I was supposed to go to a game with friends after work Monday, but the fatigue from the weekend just stayed with me all day, so I had to call and cancel at the last minute. I even worried about how well I would do on Wednesday, because we had Bible study and I didn't know if my energy would last the night, but I made it there and home okay. Thursday, I had promised to work with my son on his walking per the doctor's recommendation and a friend's suggestion to help me with my own condition, so even though I was tired, we walked twice around our block, a total of 30 minutes.

Friday morning came, and my head and neck were giving me serious pain. I took some medication and laid back down, hoping to be able to go in late to work. By the time it was time to call in, I suspected I wasn't going to make it. I also felt the fatigue affecting my body as well. I finally ended up taking a larger dose of medicine than I like to take, only to end up feeling doped up, as I expected it would do. I wasn't feeling the pain anymore, but now I was sleepy and fatigued.

This morning, I woke up feeling somewhat okay, but as the morning has worn on, I have felt my pain returning in my neck, which means I'll have to take another doping dose of my medicine in order to function halfway. I have also felt some residual fatigue, so I know I won't be able to go walking this evening with my son. I'm hoping to go with him tomorrow, unless he walks by himself tonight, which means he and I will walk on Monday.

It seems I am rather cranky today, along with the pain and fatigue, and can't help feeling like crying again. It's almost as if I'm going through this cyclically. I just want this to stop so that I can go back to being my positive self, not this "woe-is-me" person I seem to be becoming. I am also upset at the thought that much of my blog posts have been somewhat depressing, and not seeming to me to help much with education on my condition, which was part of my original hope. In fact, some of what I wanted to study about fibromyalgia remains unread, as I have been dealing with life and not finding much brain power available for study, especially this past week.

If only Calgon really could take me away. Even if "he" could, I don't know that it would help much.